These days, not all published authors have lucrative careers so to help pay a few bills I decided to take on a part-time job as a Senior caregiver. Today I met a Vietnam War veteran who suffered a gunshot wound when he was only 18 years-old. He also witnessed the death of a dear friend on the same day. Needless to say, he returned home a bit shell-shocked and never the same. Who would be? Mr. Johnson is only 69 years-old, but he looks, walks, and talks as if he's 80. My first thought was "You're too young to be so old," but of course, I kept this to myself. His sister lives with him. She is also too young to look so old, and she suffers with a chronic heart conditon. Upon my arrival, we made our introductions. Mr. Johnson's sister, whose name now escapes me, explained how her brother is diabetic and doesn't hear well, and he only drinks beer from sun up to sundown. I thought this peculiar and unhealthy, but I wasn't being paid to judge, only help. I went about the daily chores and made a quick trip to the post office, slipping a stamped envelope into the slot, and retrieving the post box mail. When I returned to the house, Mr. Johnson said he needed a ride to his cell phone service store, and he wanted to get something for lunch. I gladly obliged him. He asked if I minded him smoking in my car, and I said, "I do mind. I'm allergic to it." Turns out his sister is also allergic and this is why he never smokes inside the house. He was respectful of my wishes. When Mr. Johnson left the house I noticed he was wearing a baseball cap with Vietnam Vet on the visor. This prompted a conversation about my own family members who served in the same war. We stopped to get pizza and had to wait 10 minutes for it to cook. While sitting on a bench, Mr. Johnson began opening up about his Vietnam days, the day he got shot, and the moment his friend was killed. I said nothing, only listened, and in doing so, I came to understand his why. Why he drinks, and why he's a chain smoker. On the way home, he pointed out a cigarette store and a liquor store, saying "I may need you to pick up a few smokes and some beer for me sometime. Hope you don't mind doing this."
Here's something few people know about me. My father worked for a beer company, and he was a functioning alcoholic. I understood why Mr. Johnson would ask me this question of whether I minded picking up such items. We live in the Bible belt where many still claim their faith in Christ and actually dare to live it or at least try. Buying beer and cigarettes could look as if I've compromised my 'Walk with Christ' and potentially weaken my personal witness. However, when I was growing up, I saw the other side of this reality. My father never felt he was good enough to attend church and rarely did. My mother said a preacher did not accept his tithe because it was dirty money. I became a born-again believer in Christ at the age of 10 and started attending a Baptist church, which believed in banning all alcohol and preached adamantly against it. I never said anything to my father about this, but my mother of course found out. She didn't go to church much, but in my relatively small community word got around. In fact, my mother instructed me, "If anyone ask you what your father does for a living, tell them he sells beverages. Don't tell them he works for a beer company." I grew up feeling ashamed of my father and family, feeling as though I was never good enough. So going back to Mr. Johnson and his request for me to purchase his beer and cigarettes. Having grown up with an uncle who suffered severe emotional distress (PTSD-Post Traumatic Syndrome Disorder), I can certainly understand this man's vices and why he clings to them. Considering the fact Mr. Johnson is from the Vietnam War Era and that generation of men did not have the resources available to deal with such issues. As a medical professional, I also understand that the alcohol is his medication, but it is also a poison to his liver. Mr. Johnson may not live much longer, but the little bit of time he has left will offer him small moments for quality of life. Without this self-medicated beer-induced state he lives in, he would not be able to function at all. Without the nicotine to help calm his nerves, he would not be able to relax enough to sleep 10 minutes. I also know that taking away these two main crutches would send him reeling into a frenzied panic, flat on his back, seizing with pain, and shaking out of control. This generation of men simply refuse to take prescribed any medication for depression. There is too much stigma attached. Therefore, the question is should I purchase beer and cigarettes for him, if for no other reason than to see him have some peace in his life? If I do, will that make me an enabler? Before answering, consider this. If I refuse to indulge his bad habits he will simply find someone else who will. But if I do, then perhaps Mr. Johnson will see not all Christian people are judgmental and maybe, just maybe, he will have a moment in which a single thought of Christ as his Savior might be possible. Perhaps he may come to realize he is good enough. For Christ died for all of mankind. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And should I suffer the scrutiny of others, then so be it. Isn't the only one who's opinion really matters that of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? And if it takes a little humiliation to love an old, rundown, and tired Vietnam veteran to the Lord before he dies, is this not all the more to God's glory? Yet, I will pray and ask God for wisdom and guidance should the door remain open for me to serve this man. God bless America, God bless Mr. Johnson, and God bless all our veterans. We aren't being saved to judge, only help show the way home.
Here's something few people know about me. My father worked for a beer company, and he was a functioning alcoholic. I understood why Mr. Johnson would ask me this question of whether I minded picking up such items. We live in the Bible belt where many still claim their faith in Christ and actually dare to live it or at least try. Buying beer and cigarettes could look as if I've compromised my 'Walk with Christ' and potentially weaken my personal witness. However, when I was growing up, I saw the other side of this reality. My father never felt he was good enough to attend church and rarely did. My mother said a preacher did not accept his tithe because it was dirty money. I became a born-again believer in Christ at the age of 10 and started attending a Baptist church, which believed in banning all alcohol and preached adamantly against it. I never said anything to my father about this, but my mother of course found out. She didn't go to church much, but in my relatively small community word got around. In fact, my mother instructed me, "If anyone ask you what your father does for a living, tell them he sells beverages. Don't tell them he works for a beer company." I grew up feeling ashamed of my father and family, feeling as though I was never good enough. So going back to Mr. Johnson and his request for me to purchase his beer and cigarettes. Having grown up with an uncle who suffered severe emotional distress (PTSD-Post Traumatic Syndrome Disorder), I can certainly understand this man's vices and why he clings to them. Considering the fact Mr. Johnson is from the Vietnam War Era and that generation of men did not have the resources available to deal with such issues. As a medical professional, I also understand that the alcohol is his medication, but it is also a poison to his liver. Mr. Johnson may not live much longer, but the little bit of time he has left will offer him small moments for quality of life. Without this self-medicated beer-induced state he lives in, he would not be able to function at all. Without the nicotine to help calm his nerves, he would not be able to relax enough to sleep 10 minutes. I also know that taking away these two main crutches would send him reeling into a frenzied panic, flat on his back, seizing with pain, and shaking out of control. This generation of men simply refuse to take prescribed any medication for depression. There is too much stigma attached. Therefore, the question is should I purchase beer and cigarettes for him, if for no other reason than to see him have some peace in his life? If I do, will that make me an enabler? Before answering, consider this. If I refuse to indulge his bad habits he will simply find someone else who will. But if I do, then perhaps Mr. Johnson will see not all Christian people are judgmental and maybe, just maybe, he will have a moment in which a single thought of Christ as his Savior might be possible. Perhaps he may come to realize he is good enough. For Christ died for all of mankind. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And should I suffer the scrutiny of others, then so be it. Isn't the only one who's opinion really matters that of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? And if it takes a little humiliation to love an old, rundown, and tired Vietnam veteran to the Lord before he dies, is this not all the more to God's glory? Yet, I will pray and ask God for wisdom and guidance should the door remain open for me to serve this man. God bless America, God bless Mr. Johnson, and God bless all our veterans. We aren't being saved to judge, only help show the way home.
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